“For over two and a
half years I have worked with children, and after this confession you may think
I shouldn’t!
 |
| Shelby |
I work in a half term
kids club with children 4-16 years old. I am considered so responsible that I
often get given the role of Leader. On this particular day in August I was in
charge of the 4-6 year olds, and they were playing on the bouncy castle while I
supervised. A four-year-old boy, Peter*, who’s pretty quiet and looks like a
mini Milky Bar kid, came off the bouncy castle and was brought over to me by
another member of staff – both looking concerned.
While on the bouncy
castle Peter had fallen on his face and bent his glasses. I took them off and
thought logically, ‘If they can bend out of place, surely I can bend them back
into place.’
That’s when I snapped
his glasses in half.
In a moment of panic I
handed the remains back to Peter and said, in my high-pitch-child-friendly-voice,
‘oh no, you've broken your glasses!’ Peter said nothing and just looked
confused. Then I told him ‘we'll have to try and fix them for you.’
We tried everything
from gluing to welding and in the end had to resort to the good old fashioned
Harry Potter route, and stuck them together with sellotape. Peter’s mum
received a phone call from our reception to say her son had broken his glasses,
and I never spoke of my failed logic again (until now). Luckily, Peter had
spare glasses.”
*Name changed
Shelby isn’t the only
person who’s screwed up and blamed it on someone else. Everyone knows the
relief when you get away with it. But mind-fucking a kid is a-whole-nother
confession. Especially a kid who looks as cute as the Milky Bar kid.
To be fair, a mini
Milky Bar kid on a bouncy castle is a fail-safe scapegoat. Group of children on
a bouncy castle? Of course he broke his
glasses! What are they like, hmm?
I also adore the idea
of a bleach-blond Harry Potter actually walking around with sellotaped glasses.
I just hope he doesn't associate Shelby with Dudley Dursley the next time he
goes to the half term club.
By Mel Hargreaves.
